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47 Benefits of Coffee

  1. Coffee: the socially acceptable addiction, because life is too short for decaf.
  2. Drink coffee; it's cheaper than therapy!
  3. Coffee can help you lose weight—just don't chase it with donuts.
  4. Coffee improves your memory—wait, what were we talking about?
  5. It's a natural laxative, because who doesn't love multitasking?
  6. Coffee: because adulting is hard, and sleep is for the weak.
  7. It's rich in antioxidants as if you needed another excuse.
  8. Coffee helps you conquer the morning, one yawn at a time.
  9. It may reduce your risk of depression—unless you run out, of course.
  10. Coffee: the ultimate wingman for awkward first dates.
  11. Boosts physical performance, transforming you from a sloth to a cheetah.
  12. It helps you tolerate morning people. Enough said.
  13. Coffee improves your focus—SQUIRREL!
  14. It can help prevent type 2 diabetes because sugar is the new smoking.
  15. Great for your liver, especially if you're a wine enthusiast.
  16. Coffee is a natural exfoliator. Scrub-a-dub-dub!
  17. Improves your reflexes, so you can catch that falling toast.
  18. It can help you live longer because you've got things to do!
  19. Coffee contains essential nutrients, like, um, caffeine!
  20. Reduces the risk of stroke, which is nice, considering you're a ticking time bomb.
  21. May protect against certain cancers. Take that, kale!
  22. Boosts your mood, so you can pretend to like your coworkers.
  23. It's the best excuse to take a break from work because you deserve it.
  24. Coffee is the universal language of love—sorry, French.
  25. It keeps you alert during those never-ending meetings.
  26. Reduces your risk of developing Parkinson's disease, so you can keep shaking things up.
  27. Coffee = productivity, but only if you stop scrolling through cat memes.
  28. It may lower your risk of Alzheimer's disease, because who has time for that?
  29. Coffee is the ultimate icebreaker. "Nice mug, wanna chat?"
  30. Can help fight cavities, because who needs teeth anyway?
  31. Coffee: fueling your Netflix binge-watching marathons forever.
  32. It makes your hair shinier. Coffee: the new shampoo.
  33. It helps you stay awake during boring conversations.
  34. Improves your pain tolerance, because life is full of headaches.
  35. Coffee is a natural bug-repellant. Suck it, mosquitoes!
  36. It can help lower the risk of gout, so you can walk without wincing.
  37. Coffee can improve asthma control, so you can breathe easily.
  38. It's a great excuse to meet up with friends or avoid them.
  39. Coffee may reduce your risk of multiple sclerosis. Cheers to that!
  40. It's a natural dye for textiles, because who doesn't love coffee-stained clothing?
  41. Coffee grounds can help your garden grow, giving you a green thumb.
  42. It can help you sober up, or at least give the illusion of sobriety.
  43. Coffee may reduce the risk of heart failure, so you can keep loving it.
  44. It can improve your vocabulary, making you sound smarter than you are.
  45. May protect against cataracts, so you can see the world through caffeinated eyes.
  46. It's a natural flea repellent for your pets because sharing is caring.
  47. Coffee may reduce your risk of tinnitus, so you can enjoy silence and solitude.